The World Of Jadeey

Once again it has been ages since I updated. I really thought when I stopped updating every day that i'd still be good about updating every once in a while. Apparently not.

What has been going on in my life, I hear you ask. Well, I've met an amazing guy and am incredibly happy. That's good news right? It's certainly news that I haven't been able to announce on here very often over the past few years. Usually the times that I have met someone they have just made me miserable. It's nice to be with someone who makes my life better rather than worse.

It started the way so many of my crushes start. I met him, became friends with him and then sent myself into a spin of knowing that I wanted to be more than friends with him, but being convinced that there was no way he wanted that. I'm a girl so I talked it out endlessly with various friends, but continued to believe - despite their protestations that of course he was into me (girls always tell each other that, even when it isn't true) - that he was out of my league. (leagues totally exist. Don't tell me they don't. I even studied it in psyc)

Not too long before Christmas I'd been far to obvious and he'd grasped the fact that I was totally into him. (Why can I never be subtle? That's a skill I need to work on) He pretty much told me to calm down and just let whatever was going to happen, happen.

You should have seen me in that moment, the one where I realised that maybe, just maybe, he really was into me too. Kat was there and was amused. I suspect I was pretty much walking on air for the next couple of hours. Anyway, I think I calmed down. I certainly felt a lot calmer -now that I had that small assurance I could wait.

The bad timing of it all was that it was Christmas so we were both busy with family stuff. I tell you, Christmas has never gone so slowly in my life. But the separation eventually came to an end and things since then have been great. Really great.

In other news, I'm off to America in about 5 weeks. AMERICA! I simply cannot wait. I'm heading to LA, Las Vegas, New York and Florida. It'll be a month of absolutely blissful fun. (Not least because I won't have to be at work.)

You never know, I might even find the time to blog from the trip. (Don't hold your breath)

Labels: awesome, relationships, wonderful people

A friend of mine just broke up with her boyfriend. (And yes, I did check with her if she minded me blogging about it. She doesn't.) Her boyfriend cheated on her, and yet he doesn't consider what he did cheating. Talking about it made us start discussing what cheating is.

One persons cheating can be another persons innocent nothing. It all comes down to personal opinion, but it's probably important your partner knows what you consider cheating to be so that they make an informed decision.

Cheating, to me, is anything that you know your partner would consider a betrayal. I myself would consider any sexual contact with another person cheating. I would consider it cheating if my boyfriend/husband was sending dirty text messages to another person. I would consider it a small betrayal, though not outright cheating and not cause for breaking up, if my boyfriend/husband was having sexual fantasies about someone real. Celebrities, no. Friends, yes. I don't count dreams, obviously, because you can't control your subconscious. I'm talking conscious fantasies.

So, I guess I have a fairly strict view of monogomy. I also think it's a fairly common view though.

A guy I was friends with at university had a very different view of cheating. He and his wife had an open marriage. To them, having sex with someone else wasn't cheating - it was perfectly acceptable. They did have rules though - it would have been cheating if their partner didn't get to meet the other person first. If my friend wanted to sleep with another girl he had to first introduce her to his wife. His wife then had the right to veto it and say he wasn't allowed to sleep with her. The same went if his wife wanted to sleep with another guy. I didn't personally understand it, but it worked for them. They were, and still are from what I hear, happily married.

My friend, the one who has just dumped her boyfriend, has the same definition I do for cheating - any sexual contact. She found out that her boyfriend had been talking with a girl online. It was a girl he'd never met - but he was having cyber-sex with her and sending her all kinds of dirty messages. My friend considered it cheating, her (now ex) boyfriend didn't. I don't know whether the guy knew his girlfriend would be upset by it or not. But she was, and their relationship ended because of it.

It's interesting really, how technology has even had an affect on cheating. From what I hear, 'cheating' (I put it in speech marks because for some people it isn't cheating) with someone you've never met - often someone on the other side of the world - using the internet has become kind of common. I'm not sure how many of those become actual relationships. Not many i'd guess. My suspicion is that for most of the 'cheaters' it's just an escape from reality - hardly different from porn. It'd be interesting to see some research on it. But let's cure cancer first aye... I think that's a little more pressing in the research stakes.

Labels: relationships

I got told yesterday that the reason I'm single is because I'm too picky. I don't understand this at all. Did that person think I should just settle for the next person to come along, whether I liked them or not, just so I could have a boyfriend? That makes no sense. I'm not going to settle for someone just for the status symbol of being in a relationship. I want to be with someone because I love them, not because I love what they represent.

That said, I don't think I'm all that picky anyway. I just want a guy who:

1. Is intelligent
2. Knows his own mind
3. Isn't afraid to state his opinion and defend it
4. Knows that i'm actually still the boss though :P
5. Enjoys and is good at cooking
6. Wants to travel, but also wants to eventually settle in NZ
7. Can actually afford to travel :P
8. Has an interest in politics (I can't stand people who vote without being informed)
9. Is left-wing (I wish that didn't matter to me, but it does)
10. Loves cricket and rugby
11. Likes to read
12. Enjoys both going out with friends AND staying home dvds
13. Likes to play video games
14. Understands how important jeans are to a wardrobe
15. Has a wonderful sense of humour

So... not that picky right?

Labels: boys, relationships

Anywhere

So I was having a debate with a friend on Saturday about what love is. She said she was in love with a guy she's never actually met, except online. I said I didn't think that was possible and I still believe it's not. You can like someone a lot and you can get bloody close to falling in love but I don't think you can actually make that final leap. Not when you don't ACTUALLY know them. It's far too easy to hide stuff from someone you haven't met.

Case in point. Another friend of mine fell hard for a guy she met on NZ Dating. They talked online for a couple of months, exchanged pictures and talked on the phone. They seemed to share all the same interests, a love of reading, a fascination with geology and a couple of other things. So they finally decided one day that they should meet. She was convinced he was the one and all I had heard about for weeks was how they were so perfect for each other.

The time finally came for them to meet and she is almost impossible to contain in her excitement. They meet and it goes well. She's a little put off that he has a missing front tooth that hadn't been mentioned (apparently he had his mouth closed in all pictures) but she didn't let that stop her from pursuing who she thought was the love of her life. Six dates later she was seeing the error of her ways. You see, he had no interest in geology whatsoever and didn't appear to be very well-read either. Over the internet it was easy for him to fake these things because he could look up whatever she was talking about. People accept long delays in answers on the 'net which gives you plenty of time to come up with the right answer. In real-life that luxury does not exist.

So, no I don't think it's possible to fall in love with someone you haven't met. What I do think is that it can speed up the process when you actually do meet. So long as both of you have been honest and haven't been hiding the real you.

And before anyone starts jumping up and down and calling me a hypocrite. I've met heaps of guys off the internet and only once did it ever work out (well, work out is a relative term, it lasted a couple of weeks and we have remained friends). I've never claimed to be in love with any of the guys when i'm talking to them. I think it's a great way to meet people, I just think you've gotta be aware that the person you think you know might not be the person you know at all.

This conversation then lead into the conversation of what love actually is. The title of this post has a little something to do with my answer to that question. I think love is being willing to sacrifice your own wants/needs for the other person. You want to give them whatever they want no matter what the cost is to yourself.

Well all this discussion didn't change a thing. She's still convinced she's in love with this guy. I hope she's right and I'm wrong because she really deserves to be happy.

Haha just as a quick aside before I get back to work - I just wandered out into the foyer and there was an old guy there singing opera-style. He was really good!

Labels: relationships

I should take notice of what my body is telling me and go to sleep. But the cricket has just started so I'm going to just watch a little bit, then I'll sleep. I've got a very early start in the morning, stupid payroll.

It's not the best start to the cricket either - I probably should just skip it all but I can't tear myself away. Bloody addictions!

So, in two weeks I start training the new guy at work. Big mistake hiring him but it seemed sensible at the time. And I was desperate. I still don't know anyone else who could fill the role, guess I'll just have to make the best of things. And hope not too many people put two and two together.

I'm getting excited about going to Australia. Only about 7 weeks until we leave. Damn, I still haven't organised my new passport either. Better get onto that tomorrow if I remember. I'm making progress though, I've found my old one and have got new photos taken. Now just gotta fill in the paperwork and send it all away.

Damn! Another wicket. This is not going well at all. Looks like the team will be heading home in a couple of days. Astle really is shockingly out of form. I wouldn't be surprised if he loses his place when the team head to Australia. Hope he finds his form again by the world cup though.

I'm going to go to sleep. I can't think of a lot to say and the cricket is making me far too sad. Knowing me I'll keep waking up through the night to check the score anyway, that's what usually happens.

Labels: cricket, relationships

This is my favourite couple in the world. (excluding my parents, who take the title) These two make me believe in true love and make me confident that one day I'll find someone who makes me as happy as they make each other. My parents too actually, even after 28 years together they make each other so happy and really love spending time together.

I hope I find this someday, I really do.

This is the photo we got framed for Phoenix's birthday (he's the white guy, the Samoan guy is my best mate). He loved it. (Thank God!)

The party was nice. I was gutted (as was SpaceMonkey) that the hottest guys there were gay. We were both checking this one guy out and then his partner arrived. His partner was equally cute. So, while we were disappointed that hot guy number 1 was taken at least we had a second hot guy to admire! See, there's always a silver lining!

Labels: friends, relationships

Relationships suck. That is my verdict from my own experience and listening to friends.

I have a friend who is married and has a couple of kids. She just decided one day to up and leave her family and move to Australia to live with a new guy. I'm not sure how well she knew this guy but it shocked me. I know the decision came out of the blue cos when I last saw her she hadn't said anything about it.

Then I have another friend who wants to get out of her current relationship but doesn't want to hurt the guy so she's probably just going to stay with him even though she's not happy.

I have a multitude of other friends who are also having relationship issues at the moment. Maybe it's just that time of year.

We lost the cricket and I'm gutted so I'm not going to dwell on that too much right now. Basically, we played shockingly and did not deserve to win. Hopefully we do better on Wednesday or the Champions Trophy is all over for us.

I have a couple of oldish films to recommend today.

1/ F for Fake This is an Orson Welles documentary about fraud. I far prefered this to Welles' very well-known Citizen Kane.

2/ The Shop Around the Corner They don't make romantic comedies like they used to. This film was remade into the atrocious Tom Hanks rom-com You've Got Mail. Unlike that piece of filth The Shop Around the Corner is a lovely film and is actually hilarious. Don't let You've Got Mail put you off, I promise you'll like this if you watch it!

That's it for now. I've gotta go do some serious shopping for Phoenix's birthday.

Labels: movies, relationships

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

If I asked the impossible of you, would you do it? I think that you would.

I can't promise I'll never ask. But I can promise I'll try not to.

Labels: boys, lame blogs, mood, relationships

I've lived my life in disaray

Wow it's been ages since I posted anything!

Nothing much has happened in my life. I've gone to work, I've experienced not going to uni which is pretty weird for me. That's about it really.

Oh and my blog on another site got wiped cos their hard drive crashed and none of the data could be recovered. I was pretty gutted cos that was the really personal one which detailed a couple of huge events in my life for the past few years. I've got some of it on my computer but most of it was lost.

The 48 hour film comp is coming up soon. I'm pretty excited. I'm not having my own team this year cos I've got the chance to be a runner in one of my old tutor's teams. This means it'll be a good team that actually has a shot at winning, or at least making it to the finals. I like the sound of that!

What else is there to say? After so long away I should have heaps to write about but unfortunately I don't.

I injured my arm last week from playing too much Xbox. That was pretty funny, I bought a new game and got totally addicted so spent the whole weekend playing it. It had been a long time since I had touched the Xbox so my poor arms weren't used to it (neither were my thumbs - they also ended up pretty bruised!)

Ok I might give up trying to write something insightful. I only ended up here because I was chatting online to the boy and needed something to do in the other window. Well really that should be the ex boy. I don't think he's ever going to be the boy again really. But anyway I'll write better when I've actually got something to say!

Labels: boys, relationships, video games

All they know is when we fight, they don't see us in the loving times. What do they know? They don't know a thing.

Not my own words but very correct for a situation I now find myself in. He treats me badly sometimes without doubt, but those are the times I talk about so it probably comes across as worse than it is. Sometimes, and they are brilliant, wonderful sometimes, he is the sweetest guy in the world. In those times I wouldn't want to be with anyone but him. I'm dangerously close to falling in love with him and that's why I'm following friends' advice and trying to avoid him. I know in the current situation I will only get hurt. But if circumstance change, I need for him to be given another chance.

Labels: boys, relationships

I should be working right now. Instead I keep stalling. I'm sitting in my bloody office at work having to hold back tears. This isn't right and this isn't cool. I've always been a firm believer in not bringing my problems to work. I haven't always succeeded in this - I remember a time just over a year ago when, once everyone was gone, I crawled under the desk and just sat there. I couldn't bear to be out in the open, I needed to be in a small space. Right now I want nothing more than to do that again. I'm hoping that by wasting time at work writing this I bring my productivity back up to speed. There is far to much to be done here to have me not operating at full capacity.

I dunno what's up with me. Actually, that's not true. I know exactly what's up with me but I dunno how to write it here because it's not something I want to share with the world. Ordinarily this is a post that would not get put on the internet but just stay on my computer at home but today, out of necessity, its getting written and shared with the world.

Maybe it's that time of year, everyone I know is depressed. Hopefully tomorrow will dawn as a better day. This is not a good start to being a 24 year old.

Labels: boys, mood, relationships

I'm a puppet no more

I had a conversation with a guy today. Now the first thing I should point out is that I fancy this guy like mad. He likes me too but for various ridiculous reasons we are not together. We've discussed it but decided just friends is best for now, but of course in every conversation there is a serious sussing out of each other and a lot of flirting.

So this conversation today. We were talking about a friend of his who has totally changed personality since dating his girlfriend. The guy now does not think for himself, whatever the girlfriend wants she gets. I've noticed this happens to a lot of guys. I know a couple of friends whose boyfriends fit into this category. The guys are great but have a blindspot when it comes to their girlfriends. It's like they're scared to disagree in case they get dumped. This is not a problem that is limited to guys either, I've known girls that do the exact same thing.

I don't know how guys feel but I think they need to realise that most girls don't want a boyfriend who doesn't have his own opinions and doesn't feel confident enough in the relationship to argue for what they want. I guess that's fine for short term relationships but definitely not long-term ones.

I have another friend who is always telling me girls want bad boys. I don't think this is true though. The movie perception of a bad boy is a dark, handsome, mysterious, guy. Yeah sure - that sounds awesome! However, the reality of a bad boy is that they also have the flaw of being jerks and are not guaranteed to be handsome. Girls don't want jerks, why would we? So yeah, girls want the movie perception of a bad boy but not an actual bad boy.

In other news: the countdown is on. 6 days to go. Anyone who needs to know understands what I am referring to.

Labels: boys, relationships

Just spoke to a friend of mine. He's in big trouble with the police. His ex has accused him of stalking her and the police have got involved. Now, I know him and know it is not true. But I also know he texts her and emails her a lot. When they broke up they agreed to stay friends but then she got angry at him due to a misunderstanding and he has been trying to get her to realise he didn't do what she thought he did.

He's messed up and that scares me. He's always been a little messed up anyway, gets depressed very easily. I'm really worried this is going to be too much for him and that he'll do something stupid.

I've tried talking to him but can't give him what he needs right now. We're not as close as we used to be and I'm just not sure how to help him. I hope he's okay.

The worst thing? He's still defending her and doesn't blame her for the fact that he's now in trouble with the police. It makes me cringe in despair, mostly cos I know i'd do the same for certain people.

Labels: boys, friends, relationships

Just got my marks back and I passed everything! Woohoo I'm now a graduate!

Can't help but feel nervous, for my whole life up until now I have had study. Now all I've got is work - this might take a bit of getting used to.

On the guy front I am feeling very confused. I'm not sure exactly what I want, I think I know but am not sure. Do I want Guy A or Guy B? Well actually I know I don't really want Guy B but I wish I did, I reckon he'd be fairly perfect for me. I know I want Guy A but I shouldn't, that would just be another bad relationship that is not gonna last.

This is all theoretical anyway as neither Guy A or B are interested in me as far as I know! Hurry up and get over here Guy C!! (For the record - Guy C is the guy who likes me and I like back, just gotta meet him)

Labels: boys, relationships, school

Why do I love you so much? I would give the world for you to love me back. Even just a little bit.

Labels: boys, mood, relationships