The World Of Jadeey

Today I was looking at the New York Film Academy website. This is something I do periodically. I've wanted to attend the New York Film Academy since my first year of film classes at Vic.

They offer a great 1 year course. Unfortunately with living expenses added in (you're not allowed a job on a student visa) I'd need about $100,000 to do it. So I always go and look wistfully at the website, knowing I'll never be able to afford it.

Today I noticed a 4 week film editing course. Now, editing is the only part I've ever cared about anyway. Fees are $5000. I'd also have to find somewhere to live for the 4 weeks. But, you know, that's actually a possibility. Not this year, but if I save I actually could do it.

So... Perhaps.... I might end up fulfilling my dream of attending the New York Film Academy after all.

Labels: dreams, film making

This secret goes out to many people, in particular - Sam, Kat, Corrina and Dipak. Dream you guys, dream big.



Each Sunday I read Postsecret and every day I read LJ Secret. I like reading these websites. Some of the secrets make me cry, some make me relieved that I'm not living that pain, some I totally relate to and some just hit me in some unexpected way. Often I find myself needing to save a secret, sometimes to remind myself I'm not alone in my secrets and other times because something about the secret makes me sit up and take notice. As a result of this I have 320 secrets currently saved on my computer.

I have decided that every Thursday, for as long as I feel like it, I will post one of these secrets. Some might reflect my own secrets, others will have had a deep impact on me for one reason or another and still others will have been chosen because something small about them was enough to make me want to save it. I'm not going to tell you my reasons.

Don't read into them, don't think i'm trying to confess something. Because I'm not. I just want to share some of them.

And, if I have posted a secret that you made and you don't want it up there then please send me a message and I'll take it straight down.

Labels: dreams, secrets

I'm a dreamer. I always have been. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I think it's a very good thing. I can't imagine a life without dreams.

I think I get the dreamer thing from my dad. My mum is a lot more realistic about life. It's a good partnership my parents have really - dad dreams and mum keeps him grounded so that his dreams don't get too out of control. The dreamer thing is probably why I, like my dad, am not content to just do one thing forever. Dad has moved around a lot - he's accepted promotions to Napier, Palmerston North, back to Wellington, back to Napier, back to Palmerston North because he likes change and likes to move around. I also like change and can't imagine doing the same thing, or living in the same place, for the rest of my life. I have big dreams and they don't all involve staying in Wellington forever.

It upsets me that so many people don't even try and follow their dreams. They are instead willing to accept some mediocre life rather than taking a risk and trying to realise their dreams. I've talked about taking risks recently on this blog. It's something I consider to be very important - especially when it comes to realising your dreams. I hate seeing my friends languishing in mediocrity when I know they could be so much more. You don't have to be rich or famous to be great - you just have to be doing what you love. Someone who is doing, or trying to do, what they love - what they've always dreamed of doing - could never be considered mediocre. Never.

One of my friends is helping me to potentially realise two of my biggest dreams next year. One is a total long-shot, but I have to try it. The pay-off is too great to not take the risk.

So, how about everyone who reads this blog makes the next 12 months the year to attempt to fulfil a dream. I'm going to do it and you all should too. Consider it a favour to me.

Labels: dreams, risks, taking a chance

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I have a mini-obsession with this song, it is one of the few songs in my iPod that I never skip when it comes on. Usually I spend quite a bit of time skipping through tracks until I find something I'm in the mood to listen to. Mad World is always acceptable though.

I thought the lyric was vaguely appropriate today because I had a dream last night that I can't quite remember and it's really bugging me. I keep just about remembering but can't keep hold of it. I'm sure it wasn't exciting but because I can't remember I wanna know!

I bought new body-wash the other day because the supermarket didn't have my usual one. It smells AMAZING and I really like it. There's just one thing that makes me hesitate at the idea of buying it again. It reminds me of semen. This is not just me being weird, it really does! It's white and creamy looking. Honestly, I feel a little weird every time I rub it all over my body.

Ha, that reminds me of a very funny story. Unfortunately I shouldn't really tell it, since the person it's about does come here, she might not be too impressed even though I wouldn't reveal names. But now that I've gone this far she knows what I'm talking about and is probably cursing me anyway!

Argh my flatmate can be annoying sometimes. Once he's got an idea in his head he can be hard to convince otherwise.

He just came into my room and said he was going to take down the wi-fi for 5-10 minutes. I asked why and he said because he wanted tidy up his desk and that meant unplugging and untangling all the cables, one of which is the wi-fi router. I said I was downloading so could he wait until a little later on. He said that he really wanted to get it done now, before he turned his computer on for the day.

Um? Who cares? If I cancel my download I'll have to start it again, I think maybe he could just turn his computer off at some stage today! I did win the argument in the end but he is having a little sulk about it right now.

I'm off helping a friend find a new flat today. She doesn't have a car so I'm doing the driving. It's times like these that I'm incredibly grateful we found our new flat as easily as we did. And that it's as nice as it is.

Labels: dreams, humorous, random, semen

Someone just came in and told me I'd never walk alone again if I embraced Jesus. Personally it just made me think of the Gerry and the Pacemakers song that was played at my Granddad's funeral. I liked that song.

I do wonder, though, why someone would come into my place of work to preach to me. It makes sense I guess, I couldn't be rude because the guy could have been a potential customer and I can't give my company a bad image like that. But still, it annoyed me. Do they ever get anyone to suddenly convert to their religion by going around preaching?

I'm incredibly sleepy today. I haven't been sleeping well the last couple of nights. My dreams are being very weird and it's waking me up. I'm so nice and warm in my office I feel like just taking a little nap.

I've been told off for the lack of film reviews here recently. My only defence is that I have really written on here that much this year (ignoring this week).

However, in the interests of pleasing those of you who come here to read film reviews rather than listen to me ramble about my life, I promise to get some done in the next couple of weeks. (and lets face it, surely everyone here must be here for the reviews, because why on earth would you be here for my pathetic ramblings - they're really rather boring even to me!)

So - film reviews coming soon. Rejoice.

Labels: dreams, overworked, random

I'd Do You Like a Holly Would!

Ok so that's not the exact words it's actually "You could be my star for weekends. Do you like your hollywood" or something along those lines but my way is funnier.

I'm feeling very restless today. Or something else, a feeling I can't really explain. It's like I have lots of pent up energy I need to release. Sorry if this offends anyone's sensibilities, but sex would probably work. Or maybe just spending a couple of extra hours at the gym. I dunno why I'm feeling this way all of a sudden. I think it's the shock to my system of constantly working 9-5 40+ hours a week. I'm used to being able to pick and chose my days a bit, this having to work Monday-Friday thing is hard. It doesn't help that I just don't know all the answers but am expected to.

I wish I could fast-forward into the future. Just to check i'm on the right track you know? Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Am I right to be staying in New Zealand or should I be in America? Should I be working an office job to make money while I make films in my spare time or should I be doing something more to make sure I fulfil my dream? Should I be giving up on film completely instead of pursuing this probably hopeless cause. I mean, lets face it, not that many people make it. What makes me think I have something that others don't, what makes me think I can make it where other's haven't?

Oh sure, you shouldn't give up on your dreams and all that crap. But I think you should if you don't have what it takes, cos at least giving up early saves you from disappointment. How do I know if I have what it takes though? Friends will always be supportive and say I do, but I don't need support I need the truth. I'm to scared to give up on film to be honest, there isn't a single other thing I can imagine doing with my life. If I'm not something in the film industry then I have no idea what I'll do. That's a scary thing to admit. I can't just be a manager for the rest of my life. I don't like 9-5 office work, it's not me. I think I'll be taking off for America sooner than initially planned. I'm sure that's where I'm meant to be, I can feel it in my heart. It's terrifying to think I might have to go on my own but maybe that's the only way. The lack of decision annoys and frustrates me, I wish I could just decide what to do and do it.

Oh well I'll go to bed now. Maybe the answer will come in my dreams. Ha had a bizzare and funny dream last night! Not sharing it though. It had me thinking for a long time today, wonder what it meant.

Labels: dreams, the future