You Could Be My Star for Weekends
I'd Do You Like a Holly Would!
Ok so that's not the exact words it's actually "You could be my star for weekends. Do you like your hollywood" or something along those lines but my way is funnier.
I'm feeling very restless today. Or something else, a feeling I can't really explain. It's like I have lots of pent up energy I need to release. Sorry if this offends anyone's sensibilities, but sex would probably work. Or maybe just spending a couple of extra hours at the gym. I dunno why I'm feeling this way all of a sudden. I think it's the shock to my system of constantly working 9-5 40+ hours a week. I'm used to being able to pick and chose my days a bit, this having to work Monday-Friday thing is hard. It doesn't help that I just don't know all the answers but am expected to.
I wish I could fast-forward into the future. Just to check i'm on the right track you know? Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Am I right to be staying in New Zealand or should I be in America? Should I be working an office job to make money while I make films in my spare time or should I be doing something more to make sure I fulfil my dream? Should I be giving up on film completely instead of pursuing this probably hopeless cause. I mean, lets face it, not that many people make it. What makes me think I have something that others don't, what makes me think I can make it where other's haven't?
Oh sure, you shouldn't give up on your dreams and all that crap. But I think you should if you don't have what it takes, cos at least giving up early saves you from disappointment. How do I know if I have what it takes though? Friends will always be supportive and say I do, but I don't need support I need the truth. I'm to scared to give up on film to be honest, there isn't a single other thing I can imagine doing with my life. If I'm not something in the film industry then I have no idea what I'll do. That's a scary thing to admit. I can't just be a manager for the rest of my life. I don't like 9-5 office work, it's not me. I think I'll be taking off for America sooner than initially planned. I'm sure that's where I'm meant to be, I can feel it in my heart. It's terrifying to think I might have to go on my own but maybe that's the only way. The lack of decision annoys and frustrates me, I wish I could just decide what to do and do it.
Oh well I'll go to bed now. Maybe the answer will come in my dreams. Ha had a bizzare and funny dream last night! Not sharing it though. It had me thinking for a long time today, wonder what it meant.
Ok so that's not the exact words it's actually "You could be my star for weekends. Do you like your hollywood" or something along those lines but my way is funnier.
I'm feeling very restless today. Or something else, a feeling I can't really explain. It's like I have lots of pent up energy I need to release. Sorry if this offends anyone's sensibilities, but sex would probably work. Or maybe just spending a couple of extra hours at the gym. I dunno why I'm feeling this way all of a sudden. I think it's the shock to my system of constantly working 9-5 40+ hours a week. I'm used to being able to pick and chose my days a bit, this having to work Monday-Friday thing is hard. It doesn't help that I just don't know all the answers but am expected to.
I wish I could fast-forward into the future. Just to check i'm on the right track you know? Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Am I right to be staying in New Zealand or should I be in America? Should I be working an office job to make money while I make films in my spare time or should I be doing something more to make sure I fulfil my dream? Should I be giving up on film completely instead of pursuing this probably hopeless cause. I mean, lets face it, not that many people make it. What makes me think I have something that others don't, what makes me think I can make it where other's haven't?
Oh sure, you shouldn't give up on your dreams and all that crap. But I think you should if you don't have what it takes, cos at least giving up early saves you from disappointment. How do I know if I have what it takes though? Friends will always be supportive and say I do, but I don't need support I need the truth. I'm to scared to give up on film to be honest, there isn't a single other thing I can imagine doing with my life. If I'm not something in the film industry then I have no idea what I'll do. That's a scary thing to admit. I can't just be a manager for the rest of my life. I don't like 9-5 office work, it's not me. I think I'll be taking off for America sooner than initially planned. I'm sure that's where I'm meant to be, I can feel it in my heart. It's terrifying to think I might have to go on my own but maybe that's the only way. The lack of decision annoys and frustrates me, I wish I could just decide what to do and do it.
Oh well I'll go to bed now. Maybe the answer will come in my dreams. Ha had a bizzare and funny dream last night! Not sharing it though. It had me thinking for a long time today, wonder what it meant.
Labels: dreams, the future
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on Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 10:57 AM.
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