When I die I want to be frozen.
And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Occasionally I get absolutely paralysed with fear at the idea of my parents dying. This has happened ever since I was a kid. I remember being pretty young and worrying that they would die and I'd have to grow up with other people as parents. I didn't want that. I adore my parents.
Nowadays the fear comes from the idea that each conversation with them will have been the last. I don't know what I'd do without my parents to talk to when I need them. I don't worry about this all the time, just sometimes. If I was an actor I could use that feeling to start crying if I needed to though, I can bring myself to tears just at the thought of it. (Scary in itself, if the idea of it is so hard then the reality will be far worse.)
I know it is something I am going to have to face at some point in my life. I just hope it is a VERY long way away. I used to hope that I would die first somehow but I don't anymore. So many times I've heard it said (and it's totally true) that it is unnatural for a parent to have to bury their child. I love my parents and it'll be devastating to me when they are gone but I don't want them to have to go through the pain of losing me either.
Okay, happy thoughts time. My parents are going to live for another 50 years so I have nothing to worry about.
I should be at Justin Timberlake tonight but we swapped our tickets to Monday night instead. There are 6 lucky people getting ready to go and use the tickets we sold them right now. (At absolute cost, I didn't try and rip anyone off.) But YAY, I get to see him on Monday. So excited!!!!! share this: facebook
Occasionally I get absolutely paralysed with fear at the idea of my parents dying. This has happened ever since I was a kid. I remember being pretty young and worrying that they would die and I'd have to grow up with other people as parents. I didn't want that. I adore my parents.
Nowadays the fear comes from the idea that each conversation with them will have been the last. I don't know what I'd do without my parents to talk to when I need them. I don't worry about this all the time, just sometimes. If I was an actor I could use that feeling to start crying if I needed to though, I can bring myself to tears just at the thought of it. (Scary in itself, if the idea of it is so hard then the reality will be far worse.)
I know it is something I am going to have to face at some point in my life. I just hope it is a VERY long way away. I used to hope that I would die first somehow but I don't anymore. So many times I've heard it said (and it's totally true) that it is unnatural for a parent to have to bury their child. I love my parents and it'll be devastating to me when they are gone but I don't want them to have to go through the pain of losing me either.
Okay, happy thoughts time. My parents are going to live for another 50 years so I have nothing to worry about.
I should be at Justin Timberlake tonight but we swapped our tickets to Monday night instead. There are 6 lucky people getting ready to go and use the tickets we sold them right now. (At absolute cost, I didn't try and rip anyone off.) But YAY, I get to see him on Monday. So excited!!!!! share this: facebook
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on Friday, November 23, 2007 at 6:22 PM.
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