Why am I crying on my bed?
I really hate emotions. Yeah I know, that is the stupidest statement in the world but it's still true.
I am a highly emotional person. I did some personality profiling a few years back where it breaks your personality up into a whole lot of quadrants. Something like 75% of my decisions are emotional. This is not a good thing.
One particularly stupid thing about my highly emotional state is that I often get depressed when I'm alone. The really dumb part about this is that one of my dreams is to go and live somewhere beautiful, far away from anyone else, and just write for a few months. Clearly though this will not be good for me as I'll get all depressed.
So this now means that my emotional side is interfering with two of my dreams. To be a social worker and to go somewhere remote to write. Anyone else seeing the problem here cos I sure am! You'd think knowing this about myself I'd be able to fix it but that doesn't seem to work. Yesterday I was by myself all day and I got MEGA depressed. I knew it was happening but I was powerless to stop it. In the end I went to bed because it was easier than sitting and sulking. Jesus what a waste of a day.
It used to be funny back in Wellington when my flatmate would go out for the day and I'd be left alone. He'd get home well aware that after a day alone I wouldn't feel good and always ready to snap me out of it. He had two solutions to the problem and both worked pretty well. The first was to come bearing chocolate. The second was to bore me stupid the moment he walked in the door by telling me computer stories I couldn't even understand let alone be interested in. It was amazing how well both strategies worked.
I thought I was getting better and I find it incredibly irritating that I'm not. Ah well, it's not like I'm not used to it after 25 years but it does annoy me. (and worries me when I think about what I will be like if I spend a few months alone trying to write. Yet I still can't give up that dream.)
And no, if anyone was planning to suggest it, anti-depressants aren't the answer. It's not the debilitating depression that requires anti-depressants. I can be snapped out of it within minutes without chemical help. It's a pain in the arse rather than a serious problem. (Sometimes I hate that I was a psyc major. I know I shouldn't be diagnosing myself but I'm gonna do it anyway!)
Hmmm my cellphone just rang but I missed it. I don't recognise the number and they didn't leave a message. I wonder who it was! Oh! Speaking of phones, I better go ring my dad because it's his birthday today. share this: facebook
I am a highly emotional person. I did some personality profiling a few years back where it breaks your personality up into a whole lot of quadrants. Something like 75% of my decisions are emotional. This is not a good thing.
One particularly stupid thing about my highly emotional state is that I often get depressed when I'm alone. The really dumb part about this is that one of my dreams is to go and live somewhere beautiful, far away from anyone else, and just write for a few months. Clearly though this will not be good for me as I'll get all depressed.
So this now means that my emotional side is interfering with two of my dreams. To be a social worker and to go somewhere remote to write. Anyone else seeing the problem here cos I sure am! You'd think knowing this about myself I'd be able to fix it but that doesn't seem to work. Yesterday I was by myself all day and I got MEGA depressed. I knew it was happening but I was powerless to stop it. In the end I went to bed because it was easier than sitting and sulking. Jesus what a waste of a day.
It used to be funny back in Wellington when my flatmate would go out for the day and I'd be left alone. He'd get home well aware that after a day alone I wouldn't feel good and always ready to snap me out of it. He had two solutions to the problem and both worked pretty well. The first was to come bearing chocolate. The second was to bore me stupid the moment he walked in the door by telling me computer stories I couldn't even understand let alone be interested in. It was amazing how well both strategies worked.
I thought I was getting better and I find it incredibly irritating that I'm not. Ah well, it's not like I'm not used to it after 25 years but it does annoy me. (and worries me when I think about what I will be like if I spend a few months alone trying to write. Yet I still can't give up that dream.)
And no, if anyone was planning to suggest it, anti-depressants aren't the answer. It's not the debilitating depression that requires anti-depressants. I can be snapped out of it within minutes without chemical help. It's a pain in the arse rather than a serious problem. (Sometimes I hate that I was a psyc major. I know I shouldn't be diagnosing myself but I'm gonna do it anyway!)
Hmmm my cellphone just rang but I missed it. I don't recognise the number and they didn't leave a message. I wonder who it was! Oh! Speaking of phones, I better go ring my dad because it's his birthday today. share this: facebook
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 9:53 AM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment